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No Ifs, Ands, Or Ogling Your Ex’s Butts
Given the fact that I was busy getting busy, Amanda was seriously considering giving John another shot (not literally, like I personally think he deserves), and Danielle was starting her new Flexible...
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Rise of the Pseudo-Feminists
One question that I can see this article raising is this: is Laurie Ashcroft a feminist? For the record, I have nothing against feminists. I have nothing against people who want women to have the exact...
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Pseudo-Feminists Speak Louder Than Words (Especially If They’re Called Ruby...
At precisely 09:06 yesterday morning, Ruby Potter walked back into my life. Or rather, I walked back into hers. Since I hadn’t seen Dave for at least a good couple of weeks, we’d arranged to meet in...
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Pseudo-Feminism Corrupts Enjoyment. Any Kind of Enjoyment. At All.
Ten minutes into our shopping trip, I was ready to save Danielle the trouble of pulling a Brian and throwing myself in front of a bus. That afternoon was part of the elaborate and very creatively named...
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Pseudo-Feminists Will Be Hypocrites. And Annoying.
After such a confrontation, I can honestly say that I didn’t expect to see Ruby again. But see her again we did. At about half past eight that very same evening, just while me and Emily were settling...
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The Dangers of Wedding Ceremonies
Once a year, something comes around that most single girls – or at least, certainly the ones that I know – face with a sense of impending doom. It isn’t Valentine’s Day (which, for the record, I still...
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Four Singles & A Wedding
At about eleven o’clock one Saturday morning, four single girls went to a wedding. Or should I say, four single girls very, very reluctantly went to a wedding. Each of us had our own reason for not...
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Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Bitchy
Without that wedding, would she have even had that realisation? Maybe not. And is that such a bad thing? Probably not. So maybe weddings aren’t completely terrible for single people. Maybe there are...
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Rain On Your Wedding Day Brings Good Luck. Slightly Clouded-Over Sunshine On...
If I’d still been there, I could’ve pointed out that bitchiness, sadly, does not have an age limit on it, as proved on a daily basis by CowBitch’s own mother, my Aunty Pauline, who seems to have been...
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That Oh-So-Familiar ‘See Ya’ Text
Listen. Don’t be mad. But I’m not going to be here when you wake up. I’m not going into the details right now this second, partly because I’ve got too much to do and partly because there’s far too much...
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There Comes A Time In Every Girl’s Life When She Must Do Her Best Impression...
After all the excitement that Heather was kind enough to provide at the wedding, it would’ve been nice to have a drama-free day on the Sunday. No. That wasn’t going to happen. And for that, I have to...
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You’re Never Too Old To Set A New Year’s Resolution. And Then Promptly Forget...
‘It took me a few years to realise it,’ she admitted, ‘but eventually I worked out that it’s OK to not like one of your friends. Not because you can be two-faced or anything like that, but because –...
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New Year’s Resolutions Are Made To Be Broken
Em hadn’t had any kind of relationship since she broke up with Eric. So when she realised that things with Josh were going from ‘casual dating with the odd tumble in the sack’ to ‘gads, I might...
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That Awkward Moment When Your Friends’ New Year’s Resolution Is To Not Let...
I don’t know how long it’ll take me to get to the point where I can honestly say that I’m 100% happy for Danielle. I don’t know how long it’ll take before I can talk about how well she’s doing in New...
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Single Is The New Fantastic
If you think about it, us single people really catch the short shrift. We don’t get a whole day every year dedicated to our singleness. We only get one day a year to officially celebrate the day we met...
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Pseudo-Feminists Will Be Hypocrites. And Annoying.
After such a confrontation, I can honestly say that I didn’t expect to see Ruby again. But see her again we did. At about half past eight that very same evening, just while me and Emily were settling...
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Keep Your Friends Close and Your Enemies Closer… and Your Frenemies Somewhere...
I strongly believe that regardless of who you are, regardless of where you live or how old you are, two people in every group of girls are in constant competition with each other.
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The Importance Of Being Naked
If you ask me, nudity’s a funny thing. It’s something that we’re asked to simultaneously embrace and reject at the same time. Skin on skin is sexy as hell, but it’s just plain weird if you run around...
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Hogwarts School of Bitchcraft & Bitchery
Going back to when me, Emily and Danielle were fresh-faced nineteen-year-olds instead of decided twenty-somethings getting dangerously close to pushing thirty, we weren’t in touch with each other as we...
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Still Slightly Short Spellbound Snippet – Chapter 7!
Making ourselves look like witches had been (yet another) one of my fantastically amazing ideas. I mean, if you’re going to go into a bookshop and buy a book on witchcraft, wouldn’t it be more...
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